Her experience in life had taught her one thing.....and that was not to trust anyone or anything that made her happy, so how in the world was she to stop this univited feeling of contentment creeping through her.
Just a glance up at the azure blue sky brought a smile to her face. Her senses barely took in all the sights and smells of the most colorful spring she had ever witnessed in Texas. Bluebonnets so plump, she wanted to stop the car and jump out, lay in them and have them cover her up. Indian Paintbrush, Black-eyed Susans and Daisys all boasting of their individuality. "Look at me, look at me!" they all seemed to say. The smell of Mountain Laurel filled her senses and in the background a rooster crowed. She was overwhelmed as she looked up at that lovely sky and saw white and silver sun's rays sneaking through cotton clouds as they touched the fresh new growth of another season. She knew where all this beauty had come from and felt a gratitude so deep it brought her to her knees.
Her reaction didn't surprise her. There was another rational explantion for her delight in feeling alive again....... It was her husband. She hadn't wanted to feel sentiment or the love of a man again. The very idea of starting all over after so much loss was a frightening risk, but the fact of the matter was.......he was the most precious gift she had been given in a long time.
He had become her best friend, her companion, her teacher, her lover. His strong self-assured character had encouraged her to remember once again how enjoyable life could be. His calm relaxed presence allowed her the confidence to be herself. She could be whimsical, quirky, silly, creative and even stupid without condemnation. In short, he was the companion she had always longed for. This time she would treasure all the good moments. This time she wouldn't waste even a second on ridiculous issues. This time she let herself actually see a future.
She could envision them sharing endless years together.......sitting on a porch swing with a light silky breeze blowing while hearing that familiar warble of a cardinal and coo of a mourning dove. She could imagine little children playing in the bluebonnets, then running up to throw their little arms around them. She could see this all so clearly. The sensation of sheer joy, once so foreign to her had become much more than a just a dream. It was real. She wanted to shout it out.
"I'm alive.....I'm alive and I can feel life again and I have my husband to share it all with."
With those thoughts in mind, she continued to absorb the brilliant Texas spring feeling free and satisfied for possibly the first time in her life.
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